A Tale of Two Brothers and Me
Today I realized that one of the greatest character actors ever, Tom Sizemore, passed just two days before my dad's birthday. Coincidence?
OK, HELLO WORLD...
I've been so busy every single day for almost a month and a half now, trying to do my small part to stop the world from burning.
A thing about being busy, always on the go, always looking forward, is that, sometimes, you forget to look back on all the people, places and things that led you to where and who you are today.
One such memory refused to stay entombed in the bubble wrap of my brain - leading me to stumble across an image of one of my greatest friends, Aaron Sizemore, who passed away slowly around Christmastime 2021.
Then, this led me to the realization that I never marked the recent two-year anniversary of the death of Aaron's older brother, Tom Sizemore, who died of a brain aneurysm on March 3, 2023.
The irony of remembering Tom's death this year, which was also the first time I've remembered the birthday of my dad in years since his departure in 1995, is that until today, I never realized Tom - one of Hollywood's greatest character actors ever - died just two days before my dad's b-day.
Strange? Ironic? Connected?
I don't know.
All I know is that life is like that, sometimes. And I felt like sharing with you my March 4, 2023 Facebook post paying homage to a pair of brothers who I feel should still be here among the living:
SO, SOMEWHERE, quite possibly in a landfill, are microscopic bits of a decomposing photo of my then-best friend, Aaron Sizemore, myself in the middle, and his brother, Tom - yes, the actor.
We had our arms draped around each other, and for some reason, we were all laughing and looking down at our shoes. At the time, Tom Sizemore wasn't quite A-list Hollywood yet, but he was getting there. I had heard a lot about him from Aaron, the guy who got me my first gig in the journalism business, and this was the first - and only - day of our lives spent together.
Still, because of those 10 or so hours, and because Aaron Sizemore became so indelibly etched into the life I've since lived, I've always felt connected to Tom Sizemore, whether I wanted to be or not.
See, Aaron, who I wrote about on this page after his sudden and shocking death in December of 2021, was immensely proud of his older brother. He sang his praises no matter what hardship befell Tom, who remained a fantastic and much sought-after actor even when the demons of addiction grabbed hold of him for a significant portion of his life.
That photo I spoke of? It was taken after Aaron had excitedly told me Tom locked in his first big role, opposite Sylvester Stallone, in the jailhouse thriller, Lock Up, in 1989.
Within the next five years came a bit part in Born On The Fourth Of July with Oliver Stone and Tom Cruise, Flight of the Intruder, a bit role in Point Break with Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man with Don Johnson and Mickey Rourke, Passenger 57 opposite Wesley Snipes, Heart and Souls with Robert Downey, Jr., and True Romance with Christian Slater, Dennis Hopper and Patricia Arquette - written by none other than Quentin Tarantino.
The years 1994-2001 cemented Tom Sizemore as one of the most sought-after actors, character or otherwise, in the United States Of America.
Those years gave us stellar tough guy cop/criminal roles in Kevin Costner's Wyatt Earp, Oliver Stone and Tarantino's Natural Born Killers with Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis, Strange Days with Ralph Fiennes and Angela Bassett, Devil In A Blue Dress opposite Denzel Washington, and Heat, which featured Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino and Val Kilmer.
There were other films of note later, like Enemy Of The State (Gene Hackman), Get Carter (Stallone), Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor (Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett) and Ridley Scott's superb Black Hawk Down, which featured too many Hollywood names to mention, but Tom Sizemore's career achievement was his role as Sgt. Mike Horvath opposite Tom Hanks and Matt Damon in Steven Spielberg's stunning war epic, Saving Private Ryan.
Because of my association with Aaron and his younger brother, Paul, I could not escape news of Tom's accomplishments. Or his drug-induced failures, which often left him on the wrong side of the law.
By the time those stories began to flow like water, I found myself angry at Tom for throwing away a lucrative career where it seemed every top actor and director wanted him in their films - and many were willing to do whatever it took to keep him in the picture.
DeNiro once took Tom to rehab himself. Spielberg, Aaron told me, warned Tom that he would drug test him every day until the last day of shooting - and vowed that if Tom failed even once he would scrap every scene that included him and recast the part.
As everyone who saw Saving Private Ryan now knows, Tom Sizemore not only stayed in the picture, but he also knocked it out of the park.
As the years went on, however, and Aaron found himself struggling with demons of his own, my anger with Tom increased, because I could not understand why he didn't do more to help his brother, who was an incredible writer.
But no matter how I protested on his behalf, Aaron defended Tom until the end.
Me? Somewhere along the way, I remember looking at that picture of the three of us from so long ago, and I threw it out.
What I couldn't do, however, was escape the connection that had been made to Tom through Aaron and Paul.
If they remained proud of their brother, even through all his troubles, who was I to argue with them? After all, it was they who had to deal with so many other things I was told about that I simply cannot share out of respect to the Sizemore family.
Despite all this, when I learned that Tom had suffered a stroke and brain aneurysm, leaving him beyond hope, I was struck with sadness.
Tom Sizemore, after all, was the brother of one of the best friends I've ever had.
I didn't want to write this today, but it's a strange feeling being the last one alive from that photo, when it feels like nobody in it should be dead. Not yet, anyway.
While waiting to hear news that Tom's family had indeed pulled the plug, I watched Black Hawk Down and Heat again. I even watched Tom in a starring television role from Michael Mann's short-lived-but-fantastic Robbery Homicide Division.
Every performance was incredible. Riveting.
With his life now over, my takeaway is that all the bits that comprised Thomas Edward Sizemore, Jr. - the good, bad and ugly - contributed to him fairly universally being eulogized as a great actor.
Today, I am as proud of him as were his brothers, Aaron and Paul. As was his mother, Judith, and his deceased father, Thomas, Sr.
As the last survivor in that photo, I am also acutely aware that one day everyone in it will be gone. In my photos and in yours.
The lesson?
Live your lives, people, the best way you can.
#RIPTomSizemore #aaronsizemore #anhonestthief #savingprivateryan